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aKaDeMi FaNTaSia SeaSon 5 - 2oo7

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:51:57 GMT

Dated 14th January 2007, at 08:30 Hours I went to ASTRO, Bukit Jalil for the Akademi Fantasia season 5 audition. Not many people were there. Took the application form and filled it up.

At 09:00 Hours, the gate opened and we were asked to line up into ASTRO.

At around 10:30 Hours, it was almost my turn to be auditioned. The judges : Hajah Deja Moss and Adnan Abu Hassan (I'm honoured to have these 2 people as judges..so honoured)

I sang Kelly Clarkson's Because Of You..I never stray too far from the sidewalk..then, Hajah Deja Moss said.. "Lagu lain..lagu lain.."..and I sang The Carpenter's Top Of The World. She repeated the same line of "Lagu lain..lagu lain" and I did Aishah's Janji Manismu.

OK..GO TO STAGE 3 AA...

Waited till bout 16:30 Hours to smell stage 3.

Bob, not quite sure whom he is, they said it's Aida Aris's EX-HUSBAND..opppsss..said that me being 26 dah SENJA ok..what the hell? So if 26 is senja, what about their limit of 27 are? NIGHTS? And I believe he is Midnight!!! He said..I'd be better-off doing nightclubs than do AF..(i'm taking it positively - as in..I'm way-way too good to be in AF..)

Oh yaa..Ahmad Idham asked if I can immitate anyone..so I said I can immitate Ning but, I don't think it's appropriate! Then, I'll have no identity of my own!

Yelaahh..there can only be ONE NING. Not two or three..

My conclusion; WHEN AF SAYS THAT THEIR LIMIT IS 27, THEY'RE LYING....

SoMeThInG 2 LooK FoRWaRd To..

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 02:10:53 GMT

It's the continuation of the last post..

I woke up on Sunday (7th January 2007) morning feeling very happy.

I have another mission to complete this 2007.

I'll start on this Sunday (14th January 2007) and work it all the way.

GooD LuCk To Me!!

HaPpY 26tH BiRtHDaY 2 Me..

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 07:04:56 GMT

Hey..WELCOMING 2007 altogether with my birthday..my 26th (getting old) Birthday. No! It wasn't a GRAND BIRTHDAY. It's was just me and my surroundings.

I wasn't feeling well on the 30th of December 2006..maybe it's because I'm changing age, that's why! I was awake all night throwing unnecessary "thing" from my stomach! In the morning, dooshed-off to the hospital for a check up. Doctor says I'm ok! With some medicines, I went home happily.

The entire 31st, I was all tired, and sleepy..and also SLEEPING for the medicine was a real LULLABY.

1st January 2007 : I turned 26 and am pround of it. The number DOESN'T really matter at all. I was all happy and recovered from the "LULLABY" and stuff.

My 2007 Resolutions: - COMPLETION OF 2006 RESOLUTIONS..HAHA..

a) I want to make WRITING as part of my venture!

b) I want to activate PASAK CAHAYA - not many knows about this!

c) I want to be close to HIM.

d) I want to make $$$$ work for me and NOT REALLY me work for $$$$.

e) I want to ...(the lists goes on...)...

To Be Continued....

Try Reading The Below....LAYAKKAH AKU MENJADI SEORANG PENULIS????

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 03:05:32 GMT

Segala yang berlaku pada tika ini akan kusemadikan ia menjadi suatu kenangan disudut lubuk hatiku. Akan kukenang segalanya biar seperit mana. Aku pinta kepadamu maafkanlah kesilapanku, aku tahu kau dan aku tidak mungkin akan menyatu. Kau hanya sebuah kepulauan nan indah yang telah kusinggah dalam perjalanan hidup ini. Kau membuka sejuta rahsia kepadaku dan aku tahu, ia tidak semudah itu aku melupakanmu.

Andai, tersilap langkahku kelak, maafkanlah..hatiku ini tak bisa terubat hanya dengan ungkapan maaf dari mu. Aku bukanlah wanita yang kejam, namun aku punya hati dan perasaan, aku tak bisa kaburi jiwaku kerana perasaan yang kecewa ini.

Kau telah membawaku pergi jauh dari kedukaan semalam. Setiap bicara manismu bagaikan selumbar bisa...kau tanam dijiwa, tak terlihat oleh pandangan mataku. Aku kesal dengan segala yang berlaku.

Mungkin kau hanya mahu yang satu itu dariku..namun, pendirianku tetap berdiri disisiku. Andai aku hanyut dalam badai asmara cinta dongengmu, aku mungkin lebih parah.

Segala yang telah kuberikan kepadamu datang dari hati ikhlasku. Setiap pelukan yang kuhadiahkan kepadamu ikhlas dari hatiku yang merinduimu..setiap kucupan yang kuhulurkan kepada bibirmu datang dari perasaan kasihku kepadamu..namun segalanya telah tiada lagi..

Aku pergi...seperti yang kau mahu, sayang..aku pergi..

Namun persinggahanku selama itu, adalah persinggahan yang terlalu istimewa bagiku..

ShoULd i TrUST yOu..?

Wed, 20 Dec 2006 02:57:09 GMT

This is a story about TRUST.

If I TRUST you in and out, would you CHEAT on me?

Would you tell me you're with your FRIENDS when you're with another young lady having FUN?

Would you SLEEP next to me when you just got home after a HOT DATE?

Would you LIE to me? Would you LIE to me?

Can I ACCEPT you knowing that you've KISSED someone else?

Can I ACCEPT you knowing that you've LOVED someone else?

Can I ACCEPT you knowing that you've FANTASIZED someone else?

Can I ACCEPT you?

Should I ACCEPT you?

My Promise To You!

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 07:07:11 GMT

I cannot promise you that

I will not change

I cannot promise you that

I will not have many different moods

I cannot promise you that

I will not hurt your feelings sometimes

I cannot promise you that

I will not be erratic

I cannot promise you that

I will always be strong

I cannot promise you that

my faults will not show

But

I do promise you that

I will always be supportive of you

I do promise you that

I will share all my thoughts

and feelings with you

I do promise you that

I will give you freedom to be yourself

I do promise you that

I will understand everything that you do

I do promise you that

I will be completely honest with you

I do promise you that

I will laugh and cry with you

I do promise you that

I will help you achieve all your goals

But

most of all

I do promise you that

I will love you

What I Have To Say....

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 09:06:27 GMT

I'm a big, big girl, in a big, big world. It's not a big, big thing, if you leave me, but I do, do feel, that I do, do will miss you much.

-Emilia-

Cinta "itu" kadang kala tak ada logika. Berisi semua hasrat dalam hati. Kuhanya ingin dapat memiliki dirimu hanya untuk sesaat. Bukannya aku tak tahu, kau sudah ada yang punya. Karena kau telah bisikan cintamu padaku, kutahu engkau berdusta.

-Agnes Monica-

Manusia beraneka ragam dan rupa. Ada yang jujur, ramai yang berpura-pura.

-Aishah-

Here we are, the two of us together. Taking this crazy chance to be all alone. We both know that we should not be together. Cause if they found out, it could mess up our "happy" homes....Secret Lovers, that's what we are, we shouldn't be together but we can't let go..oh no! cause we love each other so.

-Atlantic Stars-

Aku rindu kepadamu, Siang malamku. Bagai tak menentu. Oh Tuhanku, kabulkanlah..demi bahagia yang kudamba.

-Azharina-

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? Have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?

-Brandy-

Don't go, you know you'll break my heart. She won't love you like I will. I'm the one who'll stay, when she walks away and you know I'll be standing here still.

-Celine Dion-

I'll make love to you, like you want me to and I'll hold you tight. Baby, all through the night.

-Boys II Men-

Sekarang kau pergi menjauh. Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku. Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu dan kumohon maafkan aku....Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali. Aku bukanlah untukmu. Meski kumemohon dan meminta hatimu, jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya untuk diriku.

-Rossa-

Oh Tuhan, maafkan diriku telah melangkah lubuk memberi bimbang hatinya. Kutahu kau telah berdua..tak mungkin kurasa melepas kasih antara kita.

-Ruth Sahanaya-

Tak peduli kata orang terhadap dirinya. Aku tahu dia gadisku. Tak peduli nista yang terlempar padaku. Dia tahu dia gadisku.

-Search-

Diriku hanya insan biasa. Miliki naluri yang sama. Tak ingin berpaling, tak ingin berganti. Jiwaku sering saja berkata. Andai kumampu ulang semula. Kupasti tiada yang curiga. Kasih kan hadir, tiada terduga. Hanya yakin menunggu jawapan.

-Siti Nurhaliza-

Why does it hurt so bad? Why do I feel so sad? I thought I was over you but I keep crying when I don't love you! So why does it hurt so bad? I thought I had let you go. So why does it hurt me so? I gotta get you out of my head. It hurts so bad..oh it hurts so bad, baby.

-Whitney-

I want a man not a boy who thinks he can.

-Spice Girls-

You're no man, you're a chicken...CHICKEN SHIT!

-De AnGeL-

-i fainted in the LRT-

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 04:48:27 GMT

Last night I slept over at mummy's house.

This morning, mummy sent me to Terminal Putra, Putra LRT.

Wangsa Maju Station heading towards Setiawangsa Station....

Jeng..Jeng...Jeng....I suddenly could not hear anything, my head became a little bit to warm, I felt pale all over, I fell on the bunch of people in the LRT. I was not hurt because there were too many people to land on.

I pray hard that it will never happen again..

Perginya Seorang Yang Kusayangi..

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 06:16:27 GMT

As usual, right after work @ 5pm, I shoot straight to home via Putra & Star LRT. Adik picked me up at Star Sg. Besi station. We were both dying of hunger so we decided to fill-up! We went to the geraiz at the back of Courts Mammoth. I ordered my Kung Fu Mee Hoon and so did she. As I was waiting for the food to come, "Maxis" sent me an SMS stating that my abah called me 5 times! Owh-No..so I returned the call. To my surprised...

Pakcik Mydin pass away! Innalillahi Wainnaillahirrajiun..I couldn't go back to Penang coz I was stuck in Kajang! I was so sad that I teared. I couldn't eat at all. I could not believe my ears! I could not believe that my uncle has passed away.

I was really wanting to go back to Penang knowing that the funeral would only be the day after (Saturday after Dzohor prayers) but, thinking of the rush, I stayed back. I was so so so so sad.

I sedekah Yassin to arwah Pakcik Mydin after Maghrib prayers and while reciting it too, I teared. I was so sad!

Ya Allah, Ya Tuhanku, Kau ampunilah segala dosa² serta kealpaan Pakcik Mydinku, Ya Allah..Kau tempatkanlah dia bersama² orang² yang kau cintai, Ya Allah..AMIN..

SaLaM SayaNg BuaTMu YaNg SeDaNg KuSaYaNg..

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 03:55:46 GMT

I wrote this "sajak" on the 23rd of September 2006. I was so deep in ... at that moment. Everything was so hot.

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang,

Dikala ini terasa kosong jiwa tanpa hadirnya dirimu disisi,

Aku merindui bualan asmara kala naluri merindui,

Keluhan keringat sakti meronta dijiwa sanubari,

Aku tahu aku siapa,

Aku tahu kau siapa..kau yang bergelar apa..

Aku pasrah, aku akur..

Segala yang mendatang ini suatu ujian yang harus kutempuh,

Meguji kesabaran batinku.

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang,

Kubisa menunggumu..namun hati ini berserah kepada Yang Maha Esa,

Penentu segala yang terbaik buatku,

Aku redha andai kau bukan milikku,

Kerana kutahu..dalam asmara ini akan ada yang terluka,

Ku tak bisa merubah waktu,

Untuk kita bertemu sebelum dirinya bertakhta dihatimu,

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang,

Aku hargai hadirmu mengisi segenap ruang dijiwaku,

Memutuskan segala kesilapanku yang lalu,

Mendewasakan jiwaku mengenal erti kasih,

Erti Kasih ini terlalu berat untuk kugendong kehilir,

Erti Kasih ini terlalu perit untuk kutelan andai ia tidak kesampaian,

Namun aku akan redha,

Demi iman kepada Yang Maha Esa.

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang,

Kumohon jutaan kemaafan darimu,

Andai kehadiranku ini menggugat istana cintamu terhadapnya,

Andai kehadiranku ini menggoncang api asmaramu terhadapnya,

Segala yang berlaku antara kau dan aku telah tertulis untuk menguji kesetiaan,

Segala yang berlaku antara kau dan aku telah tertulis untuk menguji kesabaran,

Segala yang berlaku antara kau dan aku telah tertulis untuk menguji keimanan,

Segala yang berlaku antara kau dan aku telah tertulis untuk menguji keikhlasan,

Kesetiaan..Kesabaran..Keimanan dan Keikhlasan dunia berkasih,

Redhalah Sayangku, andai inilah hakikat berkasih, redhalah.

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang,

Aku hanya seorang wanita berjiwa lembut bak bayu ditepian pantai,

Setelah sedikit masa yang berlalu, aku akur aku kasih padamu,

Seikhlas jiwaku tanpa bersulam panahan nafsu,

Namun kupinta, hargailah kata-katamu padaku,

Semadikan ia disudut hatimu,

Siramilah ia dengan kasih ikhlasmu,

Salam Sayang buatmu yang sedang kusayang.

Hasil Nukilan: Noor Aishah Bt. Jamaluddin 11:52 – 23/09/2006

Torn & Gone

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 03:49:57 GMT

It isn't easy being me,

I walk my way to loving you,

And liking you,

I tore my heart in two.

You told me how to love you because I wasn't sure,

I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right..or wrong?

Or..is it right to be wrong?

You brought me to a place I've never been before,

You made me feel how it is to fall in love..head over heels,

I don't blame you when I have sleepless nights thinking of you,

I don't blame you when I go lost thinking of you.

Didn't we almost have it all?

The nights we had that took us places,

The love you felt came flowing off from me to your heart,

All the secret moments,

Just for you and me to be together,

Even for just a while.

It went in shame,

In shame of our love,

Our love to complete,

Complete two souls,

Two souls who were in love.

Author: NAJ

Location: Heart Paradise

Everything Is Gone..It's All So Over & Done! Though I Miss U So Much!

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 02:44:26 GMT

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun takkan pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku

Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan ku mohon maafkan aku

Aku menyesal t'lah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu

Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya untuk diriku

Meski kau memohon meminta hatiku
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku

Something About My Heart...

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 07:09:03 GMT

Ya Allah...

Aku bersyukur kepada-Mu kerana telah mengkabulkan doa ku selama ini..walaupun doa ku itu kupohon bertahun lamanya..akhirnya Kau buka pintu hatinya juga..

I Shan't Forgive You..

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:41:07 GMT

When a person is blinded by the ashes & breeze of the evil spirit..all blacks can turn into white petals of roses!! The magic wont work on me!

When a person whose heart is filled with anger & darknest of the night..all souls can't rest in peace!! The magic wont work on me!

When a person does not believe in the GOD that creates..all of the sweetness they carry turns into a big disaster!! The magic wont work on me!

And...when a person is borne into this world with a satan engraved in the heart..it's entire self will never be liked by me!! The magic wont work on me!

The Pain In Me..

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 04:47:52 GMT

I'm in deep pain for the past whole month..I was suffering so hard and risking my life to live for yet another day!

Listen Up! If there's something that you're not satisfied with me..say it to me..not use your evil powers to have me demolished! Remember..I have my ALLAH..and my ALLAH will save me!!

And for those of you who turns it into a LAUGHING MATTER..may GOD "bless" you..Good Luck!!

Parents! Please educate your children! They all sound so stupid and rude!

To Whom It May Concern! DO TAKE NOTE!!!!

Whom Are Friends..And Whom Are Not..??

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 07:27:04 GMT

I did some makan² over at my home in Kajang last Saturday (1st Aprill 2006)..Basically, myself & Bee invited most of our FRIENDS..but, we consider the ones that came are our TRUE FRIENDS. Thank you and have a nice day..

:: whatz over is over ::

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 13:47:57 GMT

I know how sometime people tend to envy you so they start to "comment" you on every single thing! They just can't see you happy at all. They wanna take your happinest away from you so that you'll look as horrible as they are!

I don't care..all I care is myself..!! I don't wanna pay attention to stupidazz people like them! They are just a waste of time! Nuisance..melayu cakap..buat semak jer!

Muahahahahaaa....

I'm Happy As I Settle Down..

Sat, 18 Feb 2006 14:24:24 GMT

I went "somewhere" last friday for lunch. Suddenly I had the vibe that the place has no more colours like before! It's quite sad to understand why..but, after analyzing..I now know why..

Muahahahahahaaa!!!!!!!!!!

My SUPERB Weekend.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 08:12:42 GMT

I went back home to Kajang last Friday (11-Nov-2005)..when I reached home, Bee was home waiting for me. Went up straight to Bee for a BEAR HUG..

We went down to Ibrahim for some meal. I was all hungry but had no appetite to eat. I drank. Bee ate.

Saturday..12-Nov-2005..

Went to watch Emily Rose with Kak Ija..we had the early birds price of RM6.00 per tix. The movie was OK..just OK..no climax to it..that's for sure!

Went back home at 2.30pm.Bee came back around .00pm. Bee brought a new carpet. No lunch on Saturday for we were preparing our stomach for the night.

At around 7.30pm, I received an SMS from Kak Ija (MY DEAR COUSIN) asking us (Me & Bee) out to Ibrahim for dinner. Bee agreed. Some people said that it will take ages for MY KAK IJA to cool off..that proved them all wrong! The three of us had a wonderful time at Ibrahim..especially seeing My Kak Ija & My Bee enjoying each others' company. We lepak at Ibrahim till 2.30am! Amazing! We had so many things to talk about..

Slept at 3.00am..zzZZZzzzZZZZZzzzzzz....

Sunday..13-Nov-2005..

We woke up at 8.30am to start the day together by buying breakfast at the makcik sombong..then, at 12noon, we cooked LUNCH together because Kak Ija was invited by Bee for lunch. Kak Ija reached at 1.30pm as promised. I was bathing so she chatted with Bee. Then, Bee bathed and all. We had unch at 2.00pm. Food cleaned!

We gelak²..lepak²..kutuk²..makan² together the three of us! Fun Time..STORY ALL REVEALED. Fun thing!!

At night, we (Me & Bee) went to the Mamak (Steven's Corner) at Pandan Indah to meet up with Bee's friends..Boy & Leya..and Leya's friends..Zack & Dina..lepak until bout 1am..yalah, Monday is still Monday and Bee is working on Mondays!!

Reached home, we changed, brushed our teeth and slept!

Monday..14-Nov-2005..

Got open house at Han's so, Bee came back after work, I ironed Bee's Shirt and we bathed, got dressed and left home after Maghrib..straight to Pandan Jaya..yesterday Pandan Indah!

Had Nasi Minyak..Chicken Sambal, Black Beef..Nasi Impit, Nasi KErabu..SUPERB. Lepak there..played with Bobot (Han's Cat) and went back home to Kajang at 2.30am! Bee so siow!!

That's about all.....

To Be Continued..

It's All About Raya 2005 In Penang..

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 08:42:34 GMT

Aidiltri 2005..

1st Raya..

Morning..woke up quite late..had my bath..got dressed up in last 4 years baju kurung (no one is there to question what..). Then, when Abah came back from the mosque after the Aidilfitri Prayers..kan kusujud dikakimu..kupohon restu..then..I beraya with Mommy and me brothers...**sob**sob**

Next..I beraya with Aunty Rosnah..Aunty Ida..Pak Am..Pak Man..All My Cousins..Then I went to Tok Chik's house and beraya with all of them over there..

Lunch..at Han's house..sikit punyelah sedap OK..lepak there untill bout 4pm because it was raining so heavily..sit down there and gossip laa..

Nite..we all went of to Makcik Nab's house for a wonderfullllll feast..beat the other years!! Farisha is a big girl now..so damn cute.heartthrobe!

2nd Raya..

Morning..did not wake up late OK..had my bath and started the day with a little breakfast..LUNCH was fantastic! Aunty Rosnah is a PERFECT COOK laaa I tell you.

Nite..we all drove off to Kak Ju's house in..(Opps..I can't remember..) ate Laksa over there and went back to Sungai Pinang at around 12 midnite I guess.

3rd Raya..

To Be Continued..

Pudar By Rossa..

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 09:13:32 GMT

Pudar - Rossa

kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku
rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu
ku lelah dengan semua yang ada
ingin ku lepas semua

setan dalam hati ikut bicara
bagaimana kalau ku selingkuh saja
ku punya banyak teman lelaki
sepertinya ku kan bahagia

reff: mestinya kau cari pengganti diriku saja
karena kita sudah tak saling bicara
pastikan cerita tentang kita yang telah lalu
hanya ada dalam ingatan hatimu

maafkan aku jika kau kecewa
bintangmu bukan lah untuk diriku
jika memang semua kan jadi cerita
ku tahu kau semakin terluka

repeat reff

kurasakan pudar dalam hatiku
rasa cinta yang ada untuk dirimu
ku lelah dengan semua yang ada
ingin ku lepas semua

setan dalam hati ikut bicara
bagaimana kalau ku selingkuh saja
ku punya banyak teman lelaki
sepertinya ku kan bahagia

I REALLY LOVE THIS SONG..IT REMINDS ME OF ME..

-it's weird how love treat us wild-

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 07:22:00 GMT

LOVE..It's such a wonderful thing to explore..surf and be in it. It makes you wiser and happier when the mood begins to shine.

LOVE..It can be sincere..it can be hard for the HEART to take. It can KILL the soul..bleed with never ending drip of blood.

LOVE..at start it's so sweet and loving..smells like ROSES..my favourite flower..

LOVE..can be so tarnishing..

I'm So Glad We Fought..It Made Us A Better Set Of LovingCouples..

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 08:47:40 GMT

Friday (23.09.2005)..I went back home to my paradise. Wanted to relax & watch Malaysian Idols II Grand Finals..Hoping that Nita would grab the title after Jac. I bathed and cool myself down. Had NOTHING for dinner coz I was too tired to grab those bites.

Bee came back home at I don't know what time. Couldn't give a damn at that very moment. Our relationship was rocking too hard at that time. I don't know how to say it here..when this woman suddenly "ter-hidup" again coz I put her DEAD..my relationship with Bee will face some real great wave. As though this woman umpana suatu bala sangat². How do I explain..forget it..

Then, the fight began when she questioned some stupid thinggie. Gosh! Get a life! Ask me better questions..not ones like these..it bores me!

The drama begans in full scripts! Till late 11 pm..we fell asleep in the hall. Together but apart and away!

Saturday..seems better..Things was on medication. Aromatheraphy was in full force. We started to understand the reason we fought!

Sunday..Super Sunday! We Made Up..We Make Up..We Stayed Up..We Layed Up!

Bee,

Me Amor..

Tengah Ganti Puasa..

Tue, 20 Sep 2005 03:57:43 GMT

Assalamualaikum To All..

Ramadhan is just around the corner and I have decided to ganti my last year's puasa. So today, I am fasting. Straight till Friday.

Hope I can tahan till evening..till maghrib I mean..

The State Of Being Lonely..All Alone!!

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 05:21:15 GMT

I sometimes feel lonely,

When I cuddle my soul in my bed,

With no one by my side, Keeping me warm,

All day and All night..

I gaze at the sky thru the hole at my window,

I smile knowing that I'm alilve,

Knowing that I'm being loved,

Knowing that I'm breathing,

Knowing that I love someone,

Knowing that I'm still around.

I walk to my mirror,

Mirror..Mirror on the wall, Who is the luckiest of them all?

YOU ARE THE LUCKIEST OF THEM ALL..

Now I'm happier!

I snuggle up my bed again,

Realizing that I am all alone,

Lonely on my bed..

The Sad Part Of Me..

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 05:18:44 GMT

I have a sad part of me,

The sad part is I am sometimes to concern of others that I put my soul in anger!

I care for others (but not what they think!!) too much,

Especially my FRIENDS!!

I don't want MY FRIENDS to be hurt, I don't want them to cry!

I want them all to be happy..

I want them all to be laughing in joy!

I put myself aside, MY IMPORTANCE ARE NOT MY PRIORITY,

I put my friends as my NUMEBR ONE!!

<<..INDEPENDANT WOMAN IS WHAT I AM..>>

Tue, 23 Aug 2005 07:57:24 GMT

I wanna buy a car..no matter what! It's HARD when I have to rely on others to move around..even with a loved one. It doesn't make sense OK! At least..it DOESN'T reach MY SENSE!

It's NOT EASY to keep asking for favor from others to move around..until when??!@#@

I know my loan has some little itssy bitssy problem with the bank and because of that, I am still hanging onto Wings-Mobile for the time being. In addition, I will be doing some "HOME SERVICES" to get more $$$$ to pay my living! Nothing is FREE these days, OK!

Hang on to my words! NOTHING IS FREE!!

My name is INDEPENDANT WOMAN..OK??

My 6th Year Anniversary..

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 05:54:16 GMT

Date: 17th August 2005

Time: 00:00 Hours

Location: Plaza Indah, Kajang.

Occasion: 6th Year Anniversary with My Bee.

Mood: LOVING

Today is the 16th of August 2005..and tomorrow is the 17th August 2005. Tomorrow is my 6th year anniversary with My Bee. It has been SIX YEARS OF UPS & DOWNS and WE'RE STILL TOGETHER because WE WERE MEANT TO BE.

I have poured my entire soul to My Bee. I Care!! I Serve!!

HAPPY 6TH YEAR ANNIVERSARY, BEE..

This Dull Saturday..

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 04:54:06 GMT

Today is Saturday, the 6th August 2005..I'm lonely. Bee went home (balik kampung) and I'm left alone! So, I guess I wont be going to Kajang today. I'll be in Gombak, my parents place. I'll stay there over this weekend. Spend time with MUMMY DEAREST, HEIMAN KONTOT..love them all so much!

I'll be seeing Bee later for lunch at Nandos then, I'll push off back home. Bee will call from Bee's parents home later-later.

I'm gonna MISS my Bee..infact, even I'll be seeing Bee for lunch later, I miss Bee already!

I have Bee's tee that I bring to bed. Can't live without the SMELL. Disgusting ain't it?

Today in History..(heheheee..no history laa)

I miss St Mary's alot. I miss school so much. I thought of going to St. Mary's in Selayang and have a peek on whichever teachers that are there.

What do miss most? CHOIR-Of Course! I miss my class mates..

Standard 1B-6B..

Form 1C, 2B, 3B, 4 Arts III and 5 Arts III.

ME = FLESH AND BLOOD OF ST. MARY's OK..

Oh yeah..I miss the school's canteen. I miss Pakcik Shamsuddin's Nasi Lemak and aunty's Chicken Rice.

Awww....

I Love My Life The Way I Live It..

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 03:54:31 GMT

People go like..DEAR DIARY..I'm going like..

Dear Blog Page,

I love my life the way I live it, I love it so much that I can't leave it. I'm happy with my current situation and am trying to cope with my surroundings.

The people around me are different from me. They live life a different way, but I have my way.

Love Me,

Shasha Deen

The Weekend Was Like....

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 08:53:17 GMT

SATURDAY : 30th JULY 2005

** 09:30 Hours - The Lorry man came to my house and collected my goods to MY NEW HOME in Kajang. I joined him on the lorry ride. 1st Time riden on a lorry and it was really fun!

** 10:45 Hours - Reached MY PALACE and unloaded the lorry.

** 14:15 Hours - Bee came home and we had a WONDERFUL TIME. I Love My Bee..I Love My Bee So Much!

We made a pledge not to let go of our realtionship..no matter what! We will sail together till the end of time! I love my Bee..and My Bee loves me!

** I am taking out a car soon**

1st - BOUGHT A HOME

2nd - BUY A CAR

I Was Asked To Stay..

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 07:05:54 GMT

Date: 28th July 2005

Time: 11:35 Hours

Venue: Wings-Mobile's Conferrence Room

He asked me to stay for another month. I was numb! I couldn't say another word. I was shocked. I thought all my pressure would end but I was wrong..it is gonna continue for another month. DARN!!

I finally told him that I am going to open my own saloon in August 2005. He got a shocked! Then, he said he is OK about me working only from Mondays to Fridays.

I'm gonna cucuk for increament also! I don't care..

I'll Get Used To It..

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 05:47:54 GMT

Heart,

I'll get used to not having you by my side,

I'll be okay out of the blue,

I'll stick to my life, I'll stick to my friends,

I'll be okay.

Life,

I love my heart so I shall not lie,

I'll get used to being alone and lonely,

I'll get used waking up at 9am,

I'll get used to it.

Soul,

I love my heart and life,

So I shall not lie,

I'll keep this to myself and NOT let the world know,

Just yet..

My Weekend Was Really Sweet..

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 03:59:15 GMT

Friday 22nd July 2005

** At 18:00 Hours, I left the office and headed to Ampang Park LRT-Putra Station. Waited for Kak Ija there and we headed to Wangsa Maju to collect her stuffs! At 19:52 Hours..we pushed off in her Iswara to Kajang. Journey was OK. The man who is arranging my loan called while we were on the way to Kajang. He said within a week or two, everything will be settled. Alhamdulillah..

** We reached Kajang and Bee reached in time with us. We unloaded the cars together and headed to our heaven. After unloading..we were MORE than hungry. We were starving so the three of us walked to the nearby stall and had our dinner together. **B, I LOVE U**

** Bee left Kajang and headed back. I couldn't send Bee SMS that nite!! **WHERE ON EARTH IS MY BEE?** As far as I'm concerned, Maxis has great coverage unless you are at some JUNGLE area..full of hills..It's OK..I know where you were, SWEETHEART..

SATURDAY 23rd JULY 2005

** Woke Up early and got ready to meet the Mr. Loan Guy. Met him at Wisma Central and passed to him all the things that he needed. Had breakfast and bought loads of CHEESE for our tummy.

** Headed home to Kajang. Bee reached before me. Bee was home 1st. We had lunch together. I prepared lunch for my Bee. Then, we went to Petaling Jaya to buy our 29" Television Set, Sound System & DVD Player! All on Bee.

** Went back home to Kajang and reached around 19:10 Hours. Started cleaning the house and we were done at around 23:00 Hours. We bathed and we started our routine again!! **muax..muax**

SUNDAY 24th JULY 2005

** To Be Continued..

The Dangerous Part Of Me..

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 06:21:33 GMT

I have found the most dangerous part of me.. MY HEART.

My heart can be so sincere and at the same time be so playfull. I can be so mean to my heart. I put ONE HELL of pressure to it. I make it suffer. I make it cry. I make it laugh. I make it smile..I make it wonder why.

I put it to test by touching some soul. I put it in fire by being pressured. I put it to sleep when I am so tired.

I don't understand why on earth I'm doing this to my heart. I'm killing it!

Heart,

Forgive Me..

I Hate LIARS..Do U Feel The Same..?

Tue, 12 Jul 2005 05:22:49 GMT

How do you feel when you put your ENTIRE TRUST on someone that YOU LOVE with all your HEART & SOUL betrays your TRUST?? How on earth do you feel..? Feel good about it? Or do you feel like burning them alive?? I prefer OPTION 2. Muahahahahahhhhaaaaaa!!

How do you feel when you actually spend YOUR MONEY (your hard earned money) to buy something that the one you love wants..just to find out that the thing is for someone ELSE?? I hate it, Man!

I am in the verge of letting go of everything! Let go of the LONG SURVIVED relationship! Should I or should I not? Should I just simply confront the one I love?? Tell the one I love how much I hated being FOOLED??

Or should I just keep it to MY UNDERSTANDING HEART??

Someone..talk to me..tell me what to do..I'm so LOST now!!

..Time to HIT Cavenci..

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 02:25:45 GMT

What ever may be..may be..the future's NOT ours to see..hey MYSELF..MYSELF..what will be will be!

Today is Saturday, the 9th of July 2005..THREE more DAYS to Suh Fong's 25th Birthday!

Today is Saturday, the 9th of July 2005..I am so bored, sick & tired of Wings-Mobile Solution Sdn. Bhd.

Well..basically, I'm just so excited about my new **home sweet home**..That's my **sweat** ok..I will treasure myhome like I'll bring it to MY GRAVE.

**LALALALALALALAAAALALALAAALALALALALALAAA**

Well..now what I need is a COUCH, COOKER & HOOD,, REFRIGERATOR, WASHING MACHINE & A BED FOR ME TO LAY MY HEAD AT NIGHT!! I can't wait any longer! I wanna shift to my new home. I wanna go to the GYM every single day! Then BURN myself in the SAUNA..Waaaaa...

Oh Yea! About my loan. It's on its' way dee. By next week, I will be going to the bank..**INSYA ALLAH** DAPAT PUNYER TUH..Maximum value..Muahahahahahhhaaa!!

Regards!

CAVENCI FURNITURE..or whatever that may be..

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 05:29:20 GMT

I visited Cavenci Furniture Shop in Balakong / Seri Kembangan! I fell in love with ONE of the DINING SET and a TV CABINET. I made my order at once!! Can't afford to lose it!

The Sales Man (Saravanan) said.."Akak, bila akak mau ini barang, akak kasi call sama saya 2-3 hari sebelum. Kita mau sedia stok utk akak.."

At first, I told that chap that I may not need their DELIVERY SERVICE because RM75.00 from Balakong to Kajang is RIDICULOUS.

I called the company (03-9075 6942 & 03-9074 8318) on Thursday (7th July 2005) and sopke to the Sales Man informing that I want my goods to be delivered on Saturday (9th July 2005) to Kajang..(in other words, I'm telling him that I NEED HIS DELIVERY SERVICE)..He then asked me what's my invoice number?? Damn It laaa..the invoice is at home la dey! I gave him my mobile number..& he still insisted on my INVOICE NUMBER. What the **neraka** is going on la? Don't Cavenci keep their CUSTOMER's DATABASE?? This is so embarassing!

On Friday (8th July 2005), they kept calling me until, I got so fed-up! I called in for the Manager! I believe that their Manager is simply (Man + Meja). He could not make me happy at all. I asked him.."Do you know what is Microsoft Excel??"..He said yes. Then I said.."Do you know that in just ONE CLICK on it, you can search for your customers without making your customers angry?". He gaev me alot of GRAND MOTHER's stories which I don't wanna hear! The best part is, he doesn't act like a Manager! CAVENCI DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEIR CUSTOMERS. ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS THEIR STUPID SALES".

To make me quiet, I asked them to waive the DELIVERY CHARGES and since the STOCK ARE AVAILABLE, I asked them to send it to my house in Kajang on Saturday by 4pm but this ridiculous creature was so..annoying! What is RM75.00 to keep your customer HAPPY??

I cannot take this kindda shit anymore!

DO SOMETHING!!

My Resignation - Effective : 1st August 2005

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 07:14:25 GMT

LOVE MY SHIT

I resigned..Why did I resign? I'd rather leave than to stay. My HEART is in pain the longer I stay. I don't wanna feel pain. It's not easy to see the things you don't wanna see.

The people that is left feels MORE hurt than the ONE that leaves! So I'm gonna leave. Let the pain be in the company and not in my heart. My heart shall NOT ache no more!

My Love, I Leave..

♥♥♥♥ §©äR¥_§pÏ©ê ♥♥♥♥: Blog

aKaDeMi FaNTaSia SeaSon 5 - 2oo7

SoMeThInG 2 LooK FoRWaRd To..

HaPpY 26tH BiRtHDaY 2 Me..

Try Reading The Below....LAYAKKAH AKU MENJADI SEORANG PENULIS????

ShoULd i TrUST yOu..?

My Promise To You!

What I Have To Say....

-i fainted in the LRT-

Perginya Seorang Yang Kusayangi..

SaLaM SayaNg BuaTMu YaNg SeDaNg KuSaYaNg..

Torn & Gone

Everything Is Gone..It's All So Over & Done! Though I Miss U So Much!

Something About My Heart...

I Shan't Forgive You..

The Pain In Me..

Whom Are Friends..And Whom Are Not..??

:: whatz over is over ::

I'm Happy As I Settle Down..

My SUPERB Weekend.

It's All About Raya 2005 In Penang..

Pudar By Rossa..

-it's weird how love treat us wild-

I'm So Glad We Fought..It Made Us A Better Set Of LovingCouples..

Tengah Ganti Puasa..

The State Of Being Lonely..All Alone!!

The Sad Part Of Me..

<<..INDEPENDANT WOMAN IS WHAT I AM..>>

My 6th Year Anniversary..

This Dull Saturday..

I Love My Life The Way I Live It..

The Weekend Was Like....

I Was Asked To Stay..

I'll Get Used To It..

My Weekend Was Really Sweet..

The Dangerous Part Of Me..

I Hate LIARS..Do U Feel The Same..?

~~..Time to HIT Cavenci..~~

CAVENCI FURNITURE..or whatever that may be..

My Resignation - Effective : 1st August 2005

..Time to HIT Cavenci..